


Leave Them Alone- Pidge & Pleading

by the_sinnamon_roll_writes



Series: Bad Things Happen [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Amputation, Blood, Pidge | Katie Holt Angst, Pidge | Katie Holt Whump, Pidge | Katie Holt-centric, it's pretty rough, pidge deserves SO MUCH MORE than I gave her here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 09:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16972431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sinnamon_roll_writes/pseuds/the_sinnamon_roll_writes
Summary: Sendak gets to the team before they make it to Earth. And he's looking for revenge against a certain Paladin.Can you guys tell Pidge is my favorite character?





	Leave Them Alone- Pidge & Pleading

“Hello, Green Paladin.”

“Hello, asshole.” Maybe not her most creative comeback, but she was tired. “Are you here to let us go?”

Sendak chuckled and stared down at her with a lazy smile. He was confident. Good. Confidence made people stupid, and Pidge could work with that. “I think not. In fact, I think you and your friends will be here for some time down.”

His smile widened at her scoff. “You know we’ve never been held prisoner for long, you might as well just-“

Suddenly a crash and Sendak’s arm- _‘stupid super strong robotic piece of shit’_ \- smashed through the bars of Pidge’s cell and had her by the throat. Immediately Pidge could hear her teammates yelling even though she could only see Allura in the cell across from hers. She was vaguely impressed that Sendak had just gotten pissed enough to actually break one of his prison cells. Apparently he had more of a temper than she recalled. He didn’t release her, and jerked her through the hole in her cell, scraping her limbs on the broken metal. She might have winced if she could get air in her lungs. He continued to maintain his grip on her neck as he carried her down the hall past the other Paladins and threw her in a new cell. 

Pidge hit the wall, gasping for breath with ringing ears and spots floating in her eyes. So Sendak was quick to anger and not in the mood for games. Another thing to keep in mind, if she wanted to avoid another scene like that. 

“Now, child. Do you recall out last interaction?” He hadn’t yet closed the door to her cell, and was instead blocking the path with his body.

She had to bite back a retort to the child comment. That wasn’t important right now. “Well, I remember you getting shot into space-“ she was shut up with a violent cuff on her head that left her swaying where she sat. 

“Try again.”

“I don’t know! I remember us beating you!”

“I seem to recall you using your little blade to cut off my arm. Does that sound familiar to you?”

In that moment, Pidge knew she was going to lose her arm. Judging by how the others started yelling, they came to the same conclusion. 

“Are you gonna make it quick?” Pidge asked, looking Sendak straight in the eye. No way would she show fear to him. 

“The Paladin code demands that you put the safety of your team over your own personal safety, doesn’t it?” Sendak asked, seeming to ignore her question. “I wonder, what would they do to protect you? Their little Green Paladin. How useful to them would you be without your arms?”

Pidge didn’t like that he was bringing the others into this. The way he was talking- like he already knew damn well what he was going to do. She didn’t want to think about how long he’d been planning this. His speech was rehearsed. There was no getting out of this. The Galra were a very single minded people, she’d come to realize. 

So there was no point in looking like a coward. 

“I would be just as useful to them with one arm as I am now. I would be just as much use to them with _no_ arms as I am now.” Pidge regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. Why was she encouraging him?

And why did his smile grow even wider? “That’s what I thought. How useful do you think the Blue Paladin would be without _his_ arm?”

Pidge’s blood went cold as the cell to her door slammed shut and Sendak started to walk away. “No! Don’t touch her!” 

To her surprise, he walked to the cell straight across from her to Lance instead of Allura. _‘He’s wearing the blue armor,’_ her brain provided helpfully. 

“Actually I’m the Red Paladin.” Lance couldn’t bring himself to look at Sendak. He was frozen in place, and just stared at Pidge with wide eyes from across the narrow hallway as Sendak turned and approached him.

That actually made Sendak pause. “Who’s the Blue Paladin then? And why do you have the Red Paladin’s armor?” he asked, looking at Keith. 

“The Princess is the Blue Paladin, and the guy in the red armor is the Black Paladin,” Hunk answered. “See, we all had to switch when Shiro-“

“Alright,” interrupted Sendak. Once again he looked to Lance. “Enough. It doesn’t matter which Lion you command. The question remains the same. How would you fare without your arm?”

“Come on, he’s not the one that cut of your arm! He’s not the one you want, I am!” Pidge was reaching desperately through the bars of the cell like she could somehow stop Sendak just by grabbing him. 

When Sendak turned to look at her once again, Pidge saw that his smile had widened. A response like that was what he had wanted. “Perhaps I could take the Yellow Paladin’s arm. Or the Red’s? I’m sure your leader needs his arm. How useful would they be to your team if I took them apart?”

“Just leave them alone!”

 _*Crash!*_ Once again, Sendak’s artificial arm smacked into the bars in front of Pidge, although this time it didn’t break through. “You don’t give orders on this ship! Now, I asked you a question!”

Pidge suddenly felt like a small child in trouble with the most intense teacher ever. “I- they would be useful in other ways! It would take-“

“Tell me, Green Paladin. Who’s arm should I cut off?” 

She hated how collected he sounded. He was in control, and everyone knew it. How was she supposed to answer that? Maybe if she just refused to say anything at all... Pidge was too smart to think that would work, but her brain was working too fast for her to actually focus on the situation. 

“Give me an answer, or I take all of their arms.”

There it was. That one sentence that Pidge should’ve seen coming a mile off. God, she should’ve shoved her bayard right through his ugly Galran neck instead of his arm. If she had taken the opportunity when it came, they wouldn’t be in this mess. There was no way she could let her team get hurt because of what she’d done. A small part of her brain was pointing out that the others had been a part of that fight- hell, she probably wouldn’t have been able to get to his arm in the first place if Keith hadn’t given her the shot, and Lance had actually blasted him in the head, but no, it was her he held the grudge against- “Mine. Cut off my arm. Leave them out of this.”

Fuck, she was getting sick and tired of Sendak’s evil smile. She needed to stall. If she could just keep him distracted long enough for- something to happen, then no one would have to go through a forced amputation by a disturbed douchebag. Something always happened that got them to safety. Shiro would come for them, no way would he let his kids lose their arms. Pidge was desperately hoping the other Paladins were plotting an escape somehow, because it was all she could do not to panic as Sendak slowly meandered over to stand in front of her once again. He stared down at her thoughtfully and she hated how much taller he was. 

“Beg.”

_“What?”_

“I want you to beg for it. Beg for me to take your arm. Beg for your fellow Paladins to be spared.”

Pidge started to say something incredibly unladylike that would’ve gotten a lecture from Shiro, but then felt her voice catch in her throat. Begging went against every part of her being. She didn’t beg, she demanded. And how could she possibly beg for him to chop off her arm? He was asking too much of her, and judging by his expression, he knew it. 

She caught Lance’s eye from across the hall, and he shook his head frantically. But there was no way she could just let Sendak mutilate the others. Damage control. It made more sense for just one of them to get hurt instead of all of them. Where was their rescue? Every minute she spent here was a minute closer to losing an arm, and she was already far too close to the for comfort. 

She couldn’t put it off forever. 

“...please.”

Sendak laughed loudly, a grating sound that made Pidge grind her teeth. “I said beg! Convince me that you want it.”

He was mocking her. The giant purple prick. “Please, hurt me instead. Leave them alone.”

“Say you want me to,” Sendak instructed, watching her face carefully. Pidge hated how he towered over her. How could one being be so _evil?_ How was he taking _pleasure_ in this? “Tell me how much you want me to cut off your arm.”

And there was the shame. She nearly dropped to her knees, feeling the pure embarrassment weighing her down. Her stomach rolled and threatened to heave up whatever she had last eaten. None of this was right. Why was she here? Shouldn’t she be at home getting to go to bed now? But she wasn’t. She was here, and she had to protect her team, just like they would protect her. 

_“Please_ take mine instead. I-I want you to cut off my arm. Leave the others alone. Please-” Once again, her voice caught and she had to stop. Her cheeks were burning. Every word brought her closer to a breakdown, and she just knew that any minute she was going to vomit. 

Sendak laughed, and Pidge wished he would choke. 

He didn’t. Instead, he walked back over to stand in front of her again. “That’s better.”

The door to her cell was opening once again. Pidge felt her heart pounding. There had to be something she could do. 

Sendak was stepping towards her. What did she have? Her fists, which wouldn’t do much good against the hardened Galra warrior. Her feet, which wouldn’t even be able to get close to him if he didn’t want them to. Her brain, which was useless when she had nothing to work with. 

He was directly in front of her now. Why weren’t the others saying anything? Maybe they were. She couldn’t hear anything apart from a shrill ringing coming from somewhere she couldn’t place. She tried to look fierce, but it was all she could do not to start crying. 

It was just an arm. People lost arms all the time. She could survive without an arm. Hell, she could design a kickass prosthetic that would be way cooler than her arm. Give it lasers. A blaster. Maybe it could turn into a blade or something. 

It would be okay. 

She didn’t want to lose an arm. 

She was brought back to reality when Sendak grabbed her chin and jerked her head up toward him. The sounds of her friends yelling frantically filled her ears. She caught a glimpse of Lance, desperately reaching through the bars on his cell in a futile effort to get to her. It was too late now. There was no way of her getting out of this fully intact. Suddenly, she felt herself being shoved back against the wall. This time she was held there firmly, and no amount of wiggling would be enough to free herself. That didn’t stop her from trying. 

It was useless. Sendak was able to pin her with one arm effortlessly as his other one brought out the handle of a sword. As soon as he had a firm grip on it, a huge blade appeared. It was easily as long as Pidge’s arm, and he handled it easily. 

Pidge could hardly breathe now. Not with a sword about to come down on her. She could only stare as it swooped down on her right shoulder. 

White hot pain slashed down her side and she shrieked at the top of her lungs. She could hear the others yelling, it sounded like some of them were crying, and Sendak was laughing and it hurt so badly she could hardly focus on anything else at all. 

_‘Don’t look, don’t you dare fucking look-‘_ Pidge looked down at her side against all her instincts and threw up. Her arm was laying there beside her on the ground, oozing sticky red blood from the end. _‘Oh god, oh god, that’s my arm there, it’s supposed to be attached, why is it on the floor?’_

This was all so wrong. She couldn’t help but drop to her knees and curl up in as small a ball as she could. Some of her hair landed in her pool of vomit, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She had never thought too much about amputation, but she couldn’t have imagined it would hurt this bad. The searing pain made it impossible to breathe, and she sat there just gasping for air, grabbing at where her arm had once been. This happened too fast. Everything was over too fast. Her head was spinning despite being totally stationary. Was she screaming? It felt like she should’ve been screaming. 

She hadn’t noticed Sendak leaving with a satisfied smirk. 

“Pidge? _Pidge!_ Pidge, _look at me!”_ Lance ordered. When she finally forced herself to look up, he was alarmed at how pale she’d gotten in such a short period of time. Damn it, that was a lot of blood. One of them needed to get to her and help. If nothing else, just to make sure she wasn’t alone. 

“Lance, what’s happening?!” Keith demanded from the cell beside Pidge’s. He, like the others, was pressed desperately against the bars of his cell, at a complete loss for what to do. “What’s going on?”

“Pidge- she- Sendak-“ from what Keith could see, it looked like Lance was ready to vomit himself. He hadn’t looked away from Pidge even as he tried to reply to Keith. 

“He what?! _Lance!_ Focus!”

“Her arm-“ Lance managed before choking on a gag. “He- cut it off!”

A wave of panicked rage flooded over Keith as he took in that information. “No... shit, _no!”_

What could he do? There was no way that he could see for them to get out. He looked up at Hunk in the cell across from him. If Hunk could see Pidge, he was refusing to look at her. Instead, he was studying the lock on his door closely, trying to think of a way to get it open. He hadn’t said a single word after Pidge had screamed. 

Pidge had stopped screaming now. The only noise coming from her cell was a horrible wheezing that Keith didn’t want to think too hard about. He didn’t want to think too hard about any of this. One fist bunched in his hair and the other slammed into the door frantically. His desperation only increased when he saw blood start to trail into the hallway in front of him. A sentry walked by, seemingly indifferent to the prisoners around him. 

“Hey-let me over one cell, please, we need to help her-“ Keith pleaded. He was ignored. “Come on, she’s gonna die!”

And suddenly Hunk was punching the robot hard enough to send its head flying from its body. For a moment, he was torn between getting the others out and going straight to Pidge. He took a quick deep breath and rushed across the hall to open up Keith’s cell, then dragged him over to open Pidge’s. Hunk shoved Keith inside without saying anything and hurried away to get Allura and Lance free. He found Allura trying her hardest to tear the bars apart. She had actually made some good progress, but Hunk was able to get her out faster. 

“How did you get out?” Allura asked as they hurried down to let Lance out. 

“Pidge and I figured out a way to clone Galra DNA to open doors when we need to. We programmed it into our gauntlets,” he answered quietly. He still hadn’t looked over at Pidge any longer than it had taken to open her cell. 

Lance, on the other hand, hadn’t taken his eyes off of her, even as his door opened. As soon as he could, Lance was on his knees right next Keith at Pidge’s side. Keith had brushed her hair off of her forehead with shaking hands, absolutely refusing to look at the severed arm on the ground beside them. Behind them, they heard a heaving sound and Lance glance back in time to see Hunk doubled over, throwing up. Allura was standing behind him and rubbing his back. It looked like she was doing her best not to cry. 

Pidge had curled over on her injured side. Her face was scrunched up in pain, and every muscle in her body was clenched so tightly she was shaking. It was all she could do just to keep breathing. Lance had no idea how they were going to move her. There would be no pretty way to get her off this ship, and everyone knew it. 

But they had to get out somehow. There was no way she would survive if she stayed here. Lance locked eyes with Keith, who nodded. 

“Pidge, we need to move you, okay? We need to get you out of here.”

It was hard to tell, but it looked like she might have nodded, so Keith didn’t wait any longer to pick her up and turn to face the others. Immediately, Pidge tried to roll away from him on instinct to just stop _moving,_ but Keith had a strong grip and she was weaker than usual. A low whine came from somewhere in the back of her throat, like she wanted to scream but couldn’t summon the strength. 

Pidge had already been a small person- everyone on the team could pick her up easily. But missing a limb made her lighter than Keith had imagined. He wasn’t too sure how he felt about that. On one hand, she was easier to carry. But the other hand was laying lifeless on the floor. 

“So anyone have any idea where we go now?” Lance asked, looking up and down the hall. “How are we getting out of here?”

“Let’s just retrace our steps,” Keith answered. He wasted no in time in rushing down the corridor towards where they’d entered. Every step Keith took sent a shockwave of pain through Pidge’s body, and her remaining hand was trying desperately to claw at any part of Keith she could reach. His chest, his arms, his chin, it was all fair game. On some very distant level, she knew that they had to carry her and get her off of this ship, but her basic instincts had taken over and she just needed to stop the pain _now._

The others were close on his tail, each prepared to fight any Galra sentries or guards that showed up.

Miraculously, only three did, and they were quickly taken care of. It was smooth sailing almost all the way to the escape pods. Of course, that wasn’t the case when they reached the emergency room. There were at least twenty sentries standing guard there. But they were desperate. So Lance and Hunk pulled their bayards up and starting clearing a way to the nearest escape ship. Keith was fast, and managed to be the first one inside. Allura was right behind him, and the other two were waiting for him to give an order. 

He jerked his head to let them know that they needed to get inside. They didn’t think about it for a second. Everyone piled up into the tiny escape ship. Pidge and Keith were pushed uncomfortably close to the dashboard where all the main controls were at, and Pidge let out a low moan of protest. “It’s okay Pidge, we’re almost done here. We’ll get you someplace safe so you can heal.”

Nothing got through to her though. She was fading fast. The electricity that usually sparked in her face wasn’t there anymore. It was replaced with a dull, lifeless expression that absolutely did not belong on her face. 

“Guys,” Keith said, “I need one of you to take her so I can fly this thing.”

Allura was closest, so she reached down and scooped her up, earning another pathetic whimper. “I’m sorry Pidge, we’re almost out of here,” she promised quietly. 

A tense silence fell over them as Keith guided them away. No one knew what to say. The only noises that could be heard were the hum of the ship they'd stolen and the ragged breaths Pidge was struggling to make. She had given up trying to get away and instead snuggled into Allura as closely as she could. She was too out of it to notice everyone but Keith staring hard at her. 

“We need to get to the Lions,” Lance finally said. “Keith, how long do you think it’ll take to get us where we left them?”

“It shouldn’t be too long. Five minutes, maybe.”

Lance frowned down at Pidge’s gray skin and blank eyes. “Can we bump it down to one?”

“I don’t-“ Keith stopped and his eyes widened. “Is- is that the Green Lion?”

Everyone looked, and they were all surprised to see that it was indeed the Green Lion speeding towards them. Apparently she had picked up that something was wrong with her Paladin. Green’s jaws clamped down on their little ship, and a minute later, they landed alongside the other Lions. They all quickly clambered out of the escape pod and laid Pidge down on the ground. Shiro, Coran, and Romelle rushed out from where they’d been waiting in the Black Lion. Romelle’s hands flew to cover her mouth, and Shiro’s complexion dropped several shades as they took in the state the others were in. Coran just looked shocked. “What happened?!”

“We got caught by Sendak. Remember when we first fought him and Pidge cut his arm off?”

“He didn’t.” Shiro was absolutely horrified as he dropped down beside her. She hadn’t moved at all since they’d arrived at the Lions. She seemed oblivious to the people around her, and had been staring at the Green Lion in awe since she had appeared. “Pidge?” Shiro asked, gently patting her cheek. 

Slowly, her eyes concentrated on him. “Shiro? Shiro... my arm is... it hurts...”

He cupped her cheek and looked at her sadly. “I know Katie. But we’ll make it better. I promise, it’ll be okay.”

“I tried to be brave. But I didn’t want him to c-cut off-“ her whisper dissolved into a weak whine and her face scrunched up again. 

“Shh, I know, you were so brave,” Shiro assured. 

“So brave,” echoed Keith. Everyone else was nodding in agreement, but Pidge seemed to be drifting out of focus again. “Shiro, what do we do?”

“I- there’s not much we can do. We don’t have the resources we need to really take care of this,” Shiro confessed. “We need to get her somewhere with a medical facility. Honestly... I don’t know.”

“Honestly what, Shiro?” Hunk’s voice was hard, and people were surprised to see him glaring at the former Black Paladin. 

“I’m not sure she’ll make it,” Shiro said flatly. “Unless we can get help soon, Pidge might die.”

For a moment, no one said anything. Then Allura spoke. “She will _not_ die. Coran, you know where we are?”

“Of course Princess, I’ve been keeping close track of where we are.”

“Good. What’s the nearest friendly planet, and how far away is it?”

“Well, as luck would have it, we’re actually less than a day’s journey to Olkarion. I’m sure they would have the necessary supplies and resources to help Pidge there.”

“Shiro,“ Allura said, turning to look at Shiro, “Do you think she can make it that far?”

“I hope so,” Shiro answered, scooping Pidge up and standing. “We won’t know until we make it there though. Let’s go.”

Without hesitation, everyone ran to their Lions, Shiro taking Pidge into Green. She had quieted considerable when the Green Lion had shown up, and Shiro could only hope that it was because Green was sharing strength with her Paladin. However, it was just as likely that she had gone into shock. When he reached the cockpit, Shiro sat down at the pilot’s seat with Pidge in his lap. The Lion did nothing. “Come on Green, we’ve gotta go. Your Paladin is hurt very badly, we need you to get her help.”

Shiro could’ve swore he heard a growl before the giant Lion jumped into the air and started flying. 

As they sped through space, Shiro took the chance to study Pidge’s injury careful. He was dismayed to see just how dirty the stump where her arm had once been was. That was an infection waiting to happen. The Galra prisons were filthy, crawling with all sorts of nastiness that shouldn’t even come close to an open wound. Sick and injured prisoners were kept in them indefinitely without being given anything at all to clean up with. Even after those prisoners died, nothing was done to sanitize the cells. He tried his best to brush off the worst of it, but the damage was already there. They needed to make it to Olkarion. 

•••

“So? Is she gonna be okay?” Lance was upset when he didn’t get an answer right away. Actually, he hadn’t gotten any information. None of them had heard anything in the four and a half hours they’d been there. In fact, they were just now seeing her for the first time since they’d landed and she’d been rushed off. She didn’t look much better. Color had returned to her cheeks, but instead of the faint pink undertones, her skin was a harsh red. Sweat seemed to be dripping from her body, and her breathing was still ragged. Although the Olkari medics had treated the wound as best they could, it was still an angry, blistering red that Lance could practically feel radiating heat, trying to burn off whatever germs had gotten in. 

“We can’t tell for sure. She appears to have some sort of infection, but human biology is very different from ours. Her temperature is extremely high, and she’s been mostly unresponsive since you arrived,” Ryner said with a concerned frown. She had grown quite fond of Pidge in the short time that she’d known her. 

“You guys don’t have anything for a fever?” Hunk asked. “Do you guys even get fevers?”

“Fever? No, that’s not a condition I’m familiar with. We have ways of treating our people with infections, but I’m afraid I don’t know how the medicine would affect a human body. It could result in something much more serious than her injury.”

“No, it couldn’t be. I don’t know if you noticed, but Pidge is gonna die if you don’t do a good job of this,” Keith snapped. 

Shiro placed a calming hand on his shoulder. “Keith, they’re doing the best they can. There’s all kinds of viruses and bacteria out there that they’ve never encountered, it’s not fair to expect them to be able to treat every last one. Right now, the best we can do is just let her rest. And it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea for you guys to rest up a little too.” He waited for the team to leave the room, but no one moved. “Okay. Ryner, is there any way we could bring some pillows and blankets in here so we can stay with her?”

“Absolutely. I’ll send someone in with some cots, as well as some food and drinks,” she said, turning to leave. 

“Thank you.” 

No one said anything after she left. They all just crowded around Pidge’s bed in silence. What was there to say? Nothing any of them could say or do would fix this. When- if- she woke up, her arm would still be gone. 

•••

Even after the Olkari had delivered the supplies Ryner promised, no one could sleep. The lights had been off nearly an hour, and only breathing had broken the silence when Lance finally spoke softly. 

“Is anyone else still awake?” He actually managed to draw a chuckle from Hunk, and he heard movement from different directions, confirming his suspicions that no one else was asleep. “It’s hard to sleep here. I’ve just gotten used to sleeping in my Lion, and now we’re changing it up again.”

“It’s not forever. Just until Pidge gets better.” Shiro’s voice came from somewhere to Lance’s right. He sounded so sure of what he was saying, and Lance was envious of that. 

“What if she doesn’t?” It was like Hunk had read Lance’s mind. 

“She will.” That was Allura, firm as ever. She had every faith in her youngest Paladin. “Pidge is strong. You know that, Hunk.”

“Yeah, but... being strong only gets you so far. And even if she does get better, she’s gonna be missing an arm. Like, an entire arm. She won’t be able to do so many things that she loves to do. She won’t be able to build, or hack or like... decode.” 

Lance wished he knew where Hunk was so he could go hug him. They both needed it. But he probably wouldn’t have made it to him without stepping on a few other people, and Lance knew that absolutely no one was in the mood for that right now. 

“Pidge will still be able to do all of that. She’s smart enough to figure out how to do everything one-handed. Besides, it’s not _all_ bad only having one arm. It’s not great, but you get used to it.”

“Name one good thing about it, Shiro.”

“Well... sometimes people are nicer to you.”

“We could see if the Olkari can make you and Pidge a pair of prosthetic arms!” Coran wasn’t interested in hearing Lance’s rebuttal. 

“We can’t stay here too long Coran, we need to get back to Earth,” Keith reminded. 

“Alright, so we know Coran, Hunk, Shiro, Keith, Allura, and me are all up,” Lance said, ticking off on his fingers. “The only ones still out are Romelle and-“

“You guys are making it really hard to sleep.” The hoarse voice was just loud enough to make everyone bolt uptight. Allura was closest to the light, so she quickly flicked it on and looked over to the bed to see Pidge looking back at them through bleary eyes. Her face scrunched at the sudden brightness, and prompted Allura to dim the lights a little. 

Before anyone could stop them, Lance and Hunk were diving onto the bed on either side of Pidge. They regretted as soon at they landed and Pidge let out a pained cry. Shiro and Keith hurried to grab the other two younger men and pull them away. 

“Nice going,” Keith muttered as he let go of Lance’s shoulder. 

“Sorry Pidge, it’s just so good to see you up!” Hunk looked close to tears again. 

“Well, you guys seem to be doing your best to keep me up. I don’t know how Romelle is still asleep.“

A glance at the floor revealed that Romelle was indeed still out cold. “Huh. Lights are on and everything. That is pretty impressive,” admitted Shiro. “So how do you feel, Pidge?”

“Like shit. It’s really gone, huh?” Pidge had been avoiding looking down at her arm, or lack thereof, like looking would make it real. Everyone had circled her once again, and she hated the sympathy on their faces. 

“Yes, it is,” Allura said when no one else did. “I’m so sorry Pidge. We should have done more.”

“No, don’t do that. It happened, there’s nothing to be done about it.” She finally looked down at her shoulder. If she was upset, she did a very good job at hiding it. Tentatively, she reached across her chest with her remaining hand and gingerly touched where it had been sliced off. Her hand retreated almost immediately along side a sharp intake of breath. “Shiro... how long until it stops hurting?”

No point in lying to her, he decided. “I don’t know. You know I don’t remember much about that time. I remember having my arm, then I remember having the Galra arm. I don’t remember much about the transition period.”

She nodded, accepting that for what it was. Her head fell back, and her eyes closed again. “Guys... I’m really tired. ‘Nd I think I have a test tomorrow.”

“Okay, we’ll quiet down,” Shiro promised, reaching down and gently pulling the blanket up to her neck. He might’ve laughed had it just been exhaustion causing her delirium instead of a raging fever. The seriousness took out some of the hilarity. 

“Thanks dad,” she muttered softly, apparently no longer aware that it was Shiro, and not Sam Holt who was tucking her in. 

Shiro’s eyes widened, and his hand went over his heart. Gravely sick or not, that was absolutely adorable. Adorable and more than a little heartbreaking. “Okay guys, we really should step out now and let her have some peace and quiet. Come on, pick up your stuff, we’ll just go right out in the hall, that way we’ll be right there when she wakes up again.”

•••

It took four days for Pidge’s fever to finally break. In that time, Ryner had come up with several prototypes for prosthetic arms, and loaded her designs into the Green Lion. “I know you can’t stay long enough for us to try any of these out, but hopefully when you reach your home planet, these will be of some use.”

•••

Pidge was a little quieter and more withdrawn than usual, but other than that, she seemed to be just fine. She would smile, and laugh, and poke fun at the others, just like normal. Occasionally Shiro would catch her looking at her shoulder wistfully, or move her left hand as though she were reaching to clasp her right hand before remembering that it wasn’t there anymore. But she never said anything, so neither did he. 

At least until one sleep cycle (it was hard to gauge day or night when floating through space), he woke up to find her in the Green Lion’s pilot seat instead of her cot. When he approached her, the first thing he noticed was her shaking fist, opening and closing. Then he noticed her eyes squeezed shut and her chin trembling. She was crying. And it was clear as day that she was about two seconds from a full blown breakdown. 

“Hey.”

She shook her head quickly, and Shiro sighed. He leaned back against the control system, confident that the Green Lion knew not to let him activate anything. “You might feel better if you talk about it, Katie.”

Again, a rapid head shake. So Shiro walked back to grab a small stool and dragged it back up front. “Can I at least sit here?”

This time she nodded, and he sat down in front of her. After a moment, he started messing around with his one hand. From drumming out beats to making shadow puppets, Shiro did all sorts of inane things with his one remaining hand. He kept on going when he noticed Pidge watching him curiously. She didn’t look any happier, but at least now she was looking at him. 

“What’re you doing?”

“Playing with my hand.”

“Why?”

“Because I can,” Shiro said with a grin. “I figure I’ve still got one hand, I might as well use it.”

Pidge didn't say anything more and continued to watch him. Apparently he’d had a lot of practice, because he didn’t miss a beat in anything he did. Finally he stopped and looked at her. “See?”

She nodded slowly, but to Shiro’s dismay, her face had fallen and she was crying again. “Oh Katie. It’s okay. Things will get better.”

“Shiro, I lost my arm! How is that better?!” Pidge was suddenly very loud, and Shiro jumped. “I- I can’t get it back. I’m stuck without my arm forever.”

“I know. Believe me, out of everyone you know, I know the most about losing a limb. Have you seen some of the cool designs Ryner came up with?”

“No. I don’t want a prosthetic.”

“Well, what do you want?” Shiro asked gently. 

He wasn’t prepared for her reaction at all. 

Pidge stood up and pushed around him in his seat to go to the back part of her Lion. Shiro didn’t pursue until he heard a bang and a frustrated scream. Then he hurried after her. When he caught up with her, Pidge was still screaming profanities that would likely get a cuff over the head from a parent and was throwing things as far and hard as she could. She had to throw with her left hand, so things weren’t going far or breaking. Of course that made her even angrier, so she stomped down hard on the thing she’d just chucked at the ground, and Shiro just looked on sadly. “Pidge-“

 _“I want my arm back!”_ Pidge wailed. “Not a fake, I want my real one!”

“Katie, I’m so sorry. I would’ve taken your place in an instant to keep you from this. But it happened, there’s no changing that. You can’t let it break you.” He gathered her in his arm as he spoke, and she let herself sob into his chest. 

“I keep telling myself I’ll be fine, plenty of people lose their arms every day, it’s not that bad.” Pidge was talking more to herself than Shiro. “There’s no reason to get upset over this.”

“Pidge, your arm was cut off. That is absolutely a reason to get upset. It was a part of who you were, and now you don’t have it. That’s hard to come to terms with.” He was speaking from experience, Pidge suddenly remembered, and she felt ashamed for reacting so poorly.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t complain to you, of all people. You don’t need me to tell you what it’s like.”

“Are you kidding? I’m the best person to complain to because I do know what it’s like. Pidge, you can talk to me about this. I can relate.” Shiro was gently running his fingers through her hair. He remembered it helping Adam back on Earth when he was stressed, and he hoped it would work for her. It seemed like it was. She was certainly breathing more smoothly. “I know it’s a lot to handle, and it’ll take some to get used to, but you will get there, okay? I promise.”

“I won’t be able to fight... how can I be a Paladin if I can’t fight?”

“I manage to fight just fine. You just need to train a bit differently. And you know damn well being a Paladin is more than fighting.”

Pidge didn’t say anything for a moment until she pulled away and looked up at him. He wasn’t used to seeing her looking this vulnerable. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. You’re a survivor, Katie. You can adapt to anything. Come on,” he added taking her shoulder and guiding her back towards her bed, “right now you just need rest.”

She nodded, and let herself be steered away from the mess she’d made. She didn’t protest when he made her lie down. And it didn’t take her long to fall asleep. 

Shiro sighed heavily and turned around back to where she’d been throwing things. She’d managed to make quite the mess in the short time that she’d been alone. Broken objects were scattered around the floor and looked like an accident just waiting to happen. He sighed again and started to go about cleaning it all up. Just this once, he decided, he wouldn’t make her pick this up.

**Author's Note:**

> My poor baby girl didn't deserve any of that, but I enjoyed putting her through it. Shoot me a request @ http://the-sinnamon-roll-writes.tumblr.com/ !


End file.
